Lily Evans and Her Survival Guide to Hogwarts
by SoccerBanana
Summary: hey everybody, Lily Evans here! Sit back and relax as I'm about to tell you my personal story of how i survived Hogwarts! And how I shockingly came to fancy the one and only James Potter! Now I know what your think-...Hey Everyone James Potter here, is this the contraption Evans has been spending so much time on? wait "Lily Evans Survival Guide to Hogwarts"? Oo this looks juicy!


all rights go to jk rowling

Hi, I'm Lily Evans, or as one annoying blockhead Gryffindor would like to call me, "Evans". I currently attend a private boarding school in the middle of Scotland. Unlike any other school, this one is for talented and unique kids like me. It's called Hogwarts. Yep, that's right, I'm a witch. I bet you're all as surprised as I was when I found out. I don't look like those green skinned, wart covered, cackling things you muggles have thought of us. I look anything but close to that.

I'm about 5'7, with long blazing, wavy, dark red hair that bounces whenever I laugh. And big ugly freckles over my nose. I also have bright green eyes the color of a fresh pickled toad. I guess most people would think I'm attractive, but I don't really care what they think. I'm currently in my 6th year at Hogwarts, and is one of their many prefects. I have lots of friends but no longer a best friend. That spot was held by my older sister Petunia, who has ignored me and called me a freak the moment I got my letter. Then it was past down to Severus Snape. God, just saying that name makes my blood boil. He didn't always make me mad. We were friends since we were little. But we were always kinda...different from each other. Last year after our last O.W.L exam, he called me the most foulest most awful name that you could call someone, a mudblood. And just my luck! James freakin Potter overheard and hung him by his ankles in front of the school and made him apologize. Suprise! He didn't. So I slapped him across the face and told him to run back to his little death eater, bully pack.

Now I know what you're all thinking, "Wow that James Potter guy seems like such a hero." BLAAHH. Potter is nothing close to a hero, he's an arrogant bully who likes me just because I hate him. He's got 3 other buddies, who strut around the school with him thinking they're some type of greek god or something. They call themselves the "marauders". Pllleaasse what kind of stupid name is that. His right hand man is Sirius Black. God, I can't stand Black as much as I can't stand Potter. Then there's Remus, he seems like an ok bloke, but he's awfully quiet though. Anyway everyone in the school adores them (except the teachers), and every girl has either dated them or wants to. And for some freakin reason, James Potter like me. Why me!? Why not a girl that faints at the sight of him, unlike me who would vomit (and I have) if I see him screw up that stupid pile of hair on his head. Or make that same little smug face at me like he knows all my secrets. I mean seriously, it's like this guy doesn't take a hint. It's not like a jumped in front of him screaming I had a massive crush on him or anything. I've done the opposite. I've stopped going to quidditch games just because he's the captain of the team, and i've hexed him to wear he could only speak German. Well enough about me let's get the story started.

The morning after the arrival feast.

I woke up from my beautiful dream, of me being a multi billionaire from potion making. When my mood is killed about the thought of last night.

 _Marlene and I had just walked into the Great Hall, when you guessed it! Potter and Black walked over to us. Potter looked like he was being forcibly dragged by Sirius, and very uncomfortable._

 _"Hey Evans, guess what?" Sirius boomed._

 _"What?" I asked not giving a care in the world about it._

 _"You and Good old James here get to spend the whole year together!" At this point Potter is looking behind at Remus for some help._

 _"Like that's ever gonna happen Black." I snark back._

 _"Well you better like it, because you and James are Head Boy and Girl this year!" Now that grabbed my attention!_

 _"Like Dumbledore would ever make James Head Boy." Marlene said._

 _"You bet he did!" said Sirius._

 _"I'll just have to go ask him myself then, shall we." I said mildly irritated at this point._

 _Marlene and I march up to the Head Table, with Potter and Black following behind._

 _"Hello professor, sorry to bug you but Black just told us that you have made James Potter Head Boy this year, and I know that's completely absurd, but I wanted them to hear it themselves." Dumbledore looked at the four of us slightly amused and with a twinkle in his eye._

 _"I am sorry to correct you Miss Evans, but it is true, I have made you and Mr Potter Head Boy and Girl this year." I couldn't breathe. Was he serious!_

 _"How could Potter become Head Boy Professor, he's nothing but a troublemaker and cares about nothing except Quidditch."_

 _"For your information Miss Evans, Mr Potter has received full marks in Transfiguration and much praise from Professor Mcgonagall. He also has shown his amazing leadership skills on the Quidditch Pitch, And is a wonderful role model to all the first years. Now if you may all take your seats, I have a few announcements to make."_

 _"Sorry Professor." Potter said...wait hold up! Was Potter Blushing! When has Potter ever been modest about anything!_

 _"Yeah Sorry." I mumbled as Marlene and I turned around to head to our seats. And lucky us, the whole table was full except for two spots next to the marauders. As Marlene and I sat down I knew this was going to be one heck of a school year._

 **Hi everybody! So that was the first chapter, I hoped you all like it, if you have any ideas I should add, feel free to say them. I'm not really sure when I'll be updating, but I'll try to do it soon! :)**


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